6 Characteristics of a Genuine Friend

http://www.wake-upcallbook.com

 

 

We all have people in our life we consider friends but how well do you really know someone before you call them a friend? Do we use the word “friend” too loosely? We have many different relationships in our life and just because you know someone by way of a co-work, neighbor, friend of a friend we tend to refer to them as our friends. How do you really know who is a genuine friend versus a phony friend? As hard as it may be to recognize at times its important to know there isn't always sincerity that sits behind every smiling face. Today we live in such a competitive world where deceit is common so it's best to know who you are associating with and whether your best interest is being considered and their gestures are true.
Unfortunately phony friends exist just as much, if not more, than real friends. Just as the Prada purse you can buy on the street behind the curtain looks so much like the purse in the case at Saks it takes closer inspection to actually see the difference. Like my Mom always said, “You will be able to count your real friends on one hand when you get older”

 

1. Real friends will ask you how you’re doing because they really want to know. Phony friends are usually more concerned with their own needs than yours or anyone else’s. It’s okay to be self-aware but not self-centered. Phonies tend to ask you how you’re doing and as you are in mid-sentence they may interrupt to start talking about themselves. They are not really listening to you, but waiting for a break in conversation to butt in and talk about themselves. Next time your “friend” does this, call them out on it. Ex: “I’m sorry to interrupt, I thought you asked me how I was doing and I was answering you”

2. Genuine friends will call you just to ask how you’re doing, what you’re doing or make plans with you for a fun outing. Phonies only call you when they want or need something and they are very unapologetic about it. If your friends can't deem you worthy of their time enough to talk to you other than when they need you then your question is easily answered. If you want to prove your on to them you could answer the phone and say, “Hey _________, what can I do for you today” Chances are they are so self-absorbed they won’t notice. You may have those phonies that make plans with you with no intentions of actually carrying them though. To me, these phonies are the worst kind.

3. You feel more comfortable and can be yourself anytime your real friends are around. I am a firm believer that nobody can make you feel inferior or make you feel a certain way unless you allow them to, however it’s the gut feeling I am referring to when I say a fake friend leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and disconnect. You may even feel you have to act, dress or talk a certain way in order to be accepted. This is a horrible feeling and chances are it’s not you, it’s them and your intuition is zoning in on negative energy. Remember can only buy you materials, not class.

4.  You always have a genuine hug, call or maybe a card when you achieve anything special or have congratulations in order from your real friends. They won’t try to “one up” your every success. Real friends are supportive and they are constantly sharing positive words of encouragement. You win an award of excellence at work, or land a promotion, achieve a personal goal you have worked on for a long time. No matter what the scenario they will be there to pat you on your back and push you forward. Phonies are so opposite its plainly noticeable because they don’t like any attention unless it’s on them. They will hear of your success and try to pull the attention off of you and onto them in some way. They have competitive mentality with you and their other so called friends around them. When you share good news it should never get a response of “well guess what happen to me” reaction or embellishment of their story just to top your proud moment.

5. Real friends choose to protect your reputation at all cost. When you have a true friend they will never stand silent when someone is talking about you in a negative way or stirring up unnecessary gossip. A real friend doesn’t ride the fence when someone isn’t in your corner and then call it “I can’t take sides.” Standing up for a friend is not taking sides, it’s called good character. Fake friends will join in on the lies or gossip or stand silent in opinion even when they know the truth. I am not saying start an argument or make anyone uncomfortable, I am saying when faced in that situation a true friend will stop it before it starts by saying “ in ____________defense, she/he is not here to defend themselves or tell the story so we should save this conversation for another time.” Short and sweet and impressive. You will be applauded by the group!

6. Just as a real friend are there for you in the good times, they are also there for you in the bad times. In one time or another we will all be struck with a blow of tragedy in our life. You may be facing divorce, death of a child, family member or friend, bankruptcy, terminal illness in your family, total loss in a fire or storm or even a job loss. The list goes on to what can and could happen to each of us with or without warning. This is when a genuine friend is needed the most. If you are a real fiend then you know your friend better than anyone and you know what they need from you even if you have never faced what they are facing. This is not the time to disappear or make excuses. The phonies will shine brighter than stars during tragedy making your tragedy all about them for attention or simply walk away. When you go through tragedy, look around you and see who is there calling, bringing you what you need, caring for your needs, supporting you or listening with a shoulder to cry on. They are also very selfless. Spotting a genuine friend is easy if we pay attention to who is around us. Watch their eye contact when you’re talking to them. Do they see and hear you or are they looking around you to see who is in the room or waiting to talk about themselves. Their actions and body language will tell you more than what they say.

 Friends are more than just good companions. They are influential people in your life. They can either have a negative influence or a positive. They are supportive, caring and loving even when there is indifference. Be the person you want to be and you'll attract individuals with the same beliefs, opinions and values. It hard to be fake for too long, the true soul of a person always comes out in time.

6 Steps to the Power of Positive Thinking

When you set your mind on positive thoughts and strong positive beliefs then good things will begin to happen. I'm going to give you just 6 simple steps so that you can begin to get your mind focused on being more positive which will in turn attract more positive situations. When you do this you may have the power of positive thinking working for you. Whether you realize it or not your thoughts do have a direct impact on your life and those around you.

 

1. Write down every negative thought you have today. What is bothering you, who is bugging you and why is it haunting you? It’s important to remember we become who we hang around and when we think positive you begin to attract positive people into your life and the kind of people who will help you succeed. Thoughts that you regularly think about end up creating beliefs and you begin to believe what you regularly think about. What you think about, focus on and thoughts that repeatedly run through your head soon become beliefs. It is these beliefs that your subconscious mind picks up on and sees as a blueprint. Your subconscious then follows the blueprint and creates your daily life based on these beliefs and thoughts.

 

2. Take each negative thought on your list and replace it with a positive thought that outweighs the negative thought such as your talent, positive trait, person in your life, successes you have had, people who have had a positive effect on your life…. etc. The power of positive thinking is directly connected to your ability to remove, control or eliminate negative thoughts. Keeping thoughts of fear, worry, doubt, pain, sorrow and hopeless outcomes will eventually destroy your life. When we have a tragic blow in life we have to remember it’s not the blow that defines your future, it’s how we use that blow and transform it into good. Good for us and /or someone else. If you're not happy with your life, if things aren't going the way you want, then simply track your thoughts and uncover your beliefs. Replacing a positive thought or talent for a negative thought listed will open our minds up to what is really on the fore front of our mind.

3. Focus on what it is you want out of life exactly. Don’t change your mind day after day depending on the weather and what is easiest. If you want your real hopes and dreams to come to pass you must focus on them. Always remember our plans in life are not always God’s plans for us, so keep in mind unanswered prayers are sometimes our biggest blessings in life. Ex: If you want to have a better career then focus on how to obtain that career, research how to gain insight into that career goal, join a career focus group, take a class or become certified in the field your seeking, see a counselor if you’re a student, join social media groups and search for others that already show success in your future career and reach out to them as someone seeking a mentor. You will be surprised how people will help you when you approach them in a way of asking for guidance from an expert. Speak of your future career as “when I become (_____)” not if I become.

4. Surround yourself with positive successful people. I am not saying dump your friends and find new ones. I am saying pay attention who you spend a majority of your time with. Success is not always measured by outcomes. You may know someone very successful and they are also self-centered, egotistical and self-nurturing individuals. This is NOT success. Success is doing what you love, feeling joyful, sharing your success and surrounding yourself with good genuine people who you love and love you. Are your week days or weekends filled with others in your same rut or people that have gone out and gained success? If your mourning or grieving a tragic loss in your life do you find yourself allowing others to help you through your pain or latching onto people who are depressed and allow you to stay depressed? Ex: If your idea of success is to be happily married one day to the man or woman of your dreams and you spend weekends in the bar with your friends, then odds are against you! Ask the happily married couples you know how they met and how they keep their marriage on the right track. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts you end up attracting more of what and who you don't want.

5. Create a positive thinking pattern every day. When you wake up is your first thought negative or positive? Tomorrow morning, make a conscious effort to make a note of what your first thought is. Do this for 9 days and when your pattern begins to change for the positive you will be headed in the right direction. If you want to create a better life, if you want to enjoy greater success, happiness and enjoy more of the things you want, while getting rid of the negative aspects of your life then you have to eliminate the negative thinking and stop making excuses to keep negative thoughts.

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6. Positive thinking is something you should practice every day and that means eliminating the negative thoughts every day. You do this by what brings you joy in life. Do you actively pursue what makes you happy or just talk about doing it someday? When you are all talk and no action we set ourselves up lacking credibility with others and our own thinking. Ex: “I am going back to school this fall”…yet we never go. “I am going to find a good job doing what I love”….yet we never even look. “I am going to get involved in school, church, projects etc”…..yet we never take the first step. Building credible thoughts through exercises, books, positive programs, daily devotionals, bible study, lunch groups, professional organizations and continuing education paves the way for success.

 

Surround yourself with who and what you love and turn your life’s most tragic blows into triumph for yourself and for those around you!

 

Bryant Kite, Cherie's son, was a rising senior in the summer of 2007 – a great-looking young man, popular and outgoing, an honor student and a star baseball at Cordova High School in Tennessee with major college baseball aspirations and thoughts of possibly becoming a doctor. But a freak one-car accident in the early- morning hours on that July 12.

 

Rickard was 2,000 miles away from Bryant on that night, in a Southern California hotel room, away on business trip, when her phone rang.

If your telephone rings at 2:21am, odds are it can't be good news!

Although Rickard is candid and enlightening in relating the events of that call and the aftermath, the book doesn't begin there and it certainly does not end there. Rickard, a Register Nurse and Medical Business Professional Consultant, has dedicated her life to helping people turn tragedies like she lived through into triumph. "Wake-Up Call" does just that.

“A mom has always thought at one time or another that it could be possible to lose a child to death but she never entertains that thought for more than a second because the instant pain that hits you is often a sneak peek into a world she never wants to imagine”

I thought it would be most helpful to help others if they are ever face to face with a mother who has lost her child. We know you want to help but please avoid these empty and hurtful statements:

1.   They wouldn't want you to be sad

We know that but we are in complete devastation and although this may be helpful years down the road, it’s not going to bring you a good response from a newly grieving parent.

 

2.    She/he are in a better place

Regardless of your faith nobody no mother wants to hear her child is better off without her and that’s exactly what she will hear.

 

3.    You need to move on

Are you nuts! I can’t imagine why anyone would think its ok to tell a mother this ever. We never move on. We learn to deal and live without our child in the physical word. 

4.     You have "living" children here that need you!

A mother is always aware of how many children she has and we never stop being a mother to all of them. Temporarily she may needs some support to help during that first year. Be her other children ride to school or day out at the park.  

5.    You have so much to be grateful for

A good mother is always grateful for her children. If she has monetary belongings she would easily trade them all in an instant for her child back, so leave this comment alone.  

6.    You will see him again. She/he wouldn't want you this way

See her child again needs to be immediately or it brings no comfort to a mother who has buried her child. Later as she has moved to the acceptance stage this wouldn’t be so bothersome or unwanted.  

7.    You just need to keep busy

We can barely get out of bed to use the bathroom for weeks, sometimes months so don’t ask her to clean her house or start a scrapbook. Instead why don’t you show your love for her and clean her house for her. After a year you can encourage her to use her tragedy to help others.

 

"She's a very special lady," Spivey said. Dy with the Ascension Sheriff’s office and chaplain. 

"And, her book is one anyone contending with grief and loss should read. Cherie is painfully honest in her description of how to deal with grief God's way. Her book is not an "impersonal" or "clinical" step-by-step manual of how to deal with the stages of grief. Instead, it is refreshingly thoughtful and an honest look into how a Christian parent can grieve with hope after losing a child."

 

"Wake-Up Call – the call that changes your life forever" is available for preview and purchase at
 www.Wake-UpCallBook.com.

For information, please visit:

www.wake-upcallbook.com

 

Rock your next Job or Promotion with these interview tricks

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When you can walk into a room and speak with Confidence you have mastered the world of job interviews. Employers, no matter what the job title, are constantly looking for someone who has the additive “can do” magic personality that will naturally encourage those around them to follow. Your job interview is the single most important link between you and the job you’re seeking, however some of the most confident people sometimes choke during interview time. Here are a few tricks so your confidence shines through and your passion for the job can be maintained throughout the interview.

• Utilize every second you have been given. If the interviewer ask you to sum up your skills in 2-4 mins, use all 4 minutes. When the interviewer asks if you have any other questions or concerns you have been given an opportunity to show your people skills and confidence. Always have at least 2-3 questions to ask from your conversation, even if it’s to clarify a statement. If the interviewer has not addressed a salary, hours etc…this is the time to ask. EX: May I ask what the salary range is for a (position name) with my skill and experienced? You will never ruin your opportunity with appropriate questions and these are necessary questions.
• Use strong words like passion, compassion, strength & leadership when referring to the job or yourself.
• Maximize your body language. Keep your shoulders thrown back and your arms wide and relaxed. Emote with your hands while you speak – don't let them fidget. Make more eye contact than you normally would. Speak clearly and loudly, and let your voice be animated. Employers are looking for excitement and enthusiasm for the position, not perfect answers to every question.
• It's completely normal to be nervous and slightly shaky before a job interview. Instead of trying to suppress your nerves and pretend you’re not jittery, channel them into excitement. Tap your foot and nod your head instead of fidgeting with your hands. Walk in with your shoulders back and eye to eye contact looking bold and confident. Don’t forget that smile and hand shake. Let your nervousness serve you rather than inhibit you. Always wait to sit down, giving the interviewer the option to ask you to take a seat.
• Don’t forget to ASK FOR THE JOB! Ex: I feel like I am the best fit for this position and would like to begin as soon as possible. Is there any reason why I wouldn’t be offered this position? Even if you are told that you will receive a call in X days, call back a few days before then and ask about the status of your application. Ask the interviewer for his or her business card when you leave and email them a thank you by the end of the day. Always reinstate in your short and sweet email why you are the best candidate. If you are not picked for the job, be polite and move on to the next opportunity.

Boosting Confidence with Body Language

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Our actual words are only partially what we say to one another in a conversation — the majority of what comes out of our mouth is also done through our tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. It’s extremely common to have others immediately interpret your non-verbal cues and gestures. Learn to speak with confidence by being conscious of your body language and controlling it in our conversations. Surprisingly enough when your body, face, and voice to appear confident will not only increase your actual self-confidence but the confidence others have in you.

• I teach beauty contestants how their body language can easily effect their score, especially in interview. This is also true for anyone every day in how others perceive you. You can’t just walk acting as if you have no purpose. You walk holding your head high and move your shoulders back. Keep your arms loose and your back straight. You can’t always be in a hurry as if you’re running someone’s coffee errand but instead lose the nerves and slow down a bit. Take your time and feel confident in your pace, and that confidence will show.
• As you pass another person and you catch someone's eye, always smile at them. It is difficult to fake a smile that is supposed to be genuine a genuine-looking smile begins with the eyes: if you fake it you will appear to be disengaged.  Be sure to let your teeth show and make eye contact when you smile. Eye contact should be maintained for at least a second. When you meet an others gaze you seem self-assured and confident. Someone that looks away as soon as another makes eye contact appears to be shy, untrustworthy and/or hurried.
• Speak loudly and clearly. “Loudly” doesn't mean you should yell when talking; rather, it means you should not inhibit your natural volume. Speak with clarity in your words and do not rush.
• When you are standing or sitting, keep your body relaxed and loose. Do not tense your shoulders or cross your arms or legs, this will tell someone you are uninterested or guarded in the conversation. This is very important in interviews as well. Maintain good posture: nothing says confidence like a straight back and chin forward.
• Start your day with positive “I am’s” I am talented, I am strong, I am healthy, I am smart, I am…………. When you begin to speak positive about yourself you will begin to believe it. How we feel about our self on the inside shows on the outside. How can someone else feel good about you if you don’t! Begin to tell yourself what you want to be and how you want to feel. If you’re not feeling well most of the time, begin to say I am healthy every single morning. Self-confidence starts on the inside and grows mentally before it shows.

 

Few Tips on your Grief Journey

 

 

 

 By: Cherie Rickard/ Author & Speaker of Wake-up Call

Everyone knows that no one grieves in the same way or at the same pace after the loss of your child or someone very close to your heart. The steps of grief are like hurdles on a track so matter where you are in your grief journey, always remember someone out there knows exactly how you feel, has made it through every hurdle and can help you. Here are some tips that I find helpful and may help you through your pain and struggles.

·       Recognize your stage of grief and your specific feelings and acknowledge your pain is normal.

·       By attention to your daily thoughts. Accept both the positive and the negative.

·       Believe in your strength and know you have a new normal life that you have to live.

·       Reach out to others that have been through the same loss.

·       Schedule a date to do something you enjoy or go on vacation and stick to your plan.

·       Make a conscious effort to regain your sense of humor. It’s in there somewhere.

·       Allow others to help you when they offer and learn to ask for what you need!

·       Follow your heart and listen to yourself. Speak victory daily over your grief. Your child or loved one doesn’t want you to stop living.

·       Don’t listen to the daily “time will heal” or “they are in a better place” with anger, people just want to help.

·       Participate in whatever exercise or activity that brings you peace if at all possible. Get moving and get going.

·       Set out to accomplish something small at first then move onto bigger goals.

·       Don’t try to change anything in your life for a year at least. Give yourself time to reflect and then push forward.

·       Consider writing every daily moment of joy in a journal and /or reading a daily devotion or blog that is positive.

·       You have to gain a sense of perspective with your loss and your new normal life.